Various funny stuff

[changeyourstars8]

Incident #1:

I'm in the rental store, searching for another low-budget horror movie to either appreciate or laugh at, when I hear a girl's voice say, "Oooh! RENT!"

And then she proceeds to sing part of "No Day But Today".

Her mother: *gives her a 'what the heck' look*
I: *give her a thumbs-up*
She: *grins*

My people. :-D

Incident #2:

My husband is over at a friend's house. Said friend is about three sheets to the wind, as are most of the others there. The talk turns (as it usually does with a drunk crowd) to sex.

Girl 1: "So how many people have you slept with?"
My husband: "None. I'm a virgin."
The first girl seems to be pondering this, when--
Girl 2: "Nuh-uh! I know you. You're married."
Girl 1: "Dammit!"
My husband's friend: "There go your plans for the night!" *starts laughing, falls off his chair*

Incident #3:

My brother's stayed the night, watching some aforementioned low-budget horror movies with us. In the morning, he sees the cat stalking something in the kitchen. It turns out to be a spider. A biiiiig spider.

My brother: *runs into the kitchen, grabs an empty pizza box, throws it at the spider from a foot away-- and misses*
Me: *laughing so hard I can't see*
My brother: *also laughing, while backing away from Shelob* "Shut up!"
Me: *picks up the pizza box and smashes the spider*

We measured it once it was dead-- four inches. I've been on the lookout for relatives ever since.

Comments

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, 4 inches! Did you figure out what kind it was? I'd have gone to the net first thing. I mean, if there are more around, you want to know if they're dangerous or just creepy.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I'm looking it up now. There was also one on the rearview mirror of Chris's truck that was this tan/reddish color, thick body, and its legs looked like they tapered off into talons. It's Creepy Spider Month here or something.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Aha. Pretty sure it was this (http://entomology.unl.edu/images/spiders/pholcus.jpg), a cellar spider. If not, about that size.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Hm. this (http://www.uky.edu/Ag/CritterFiles/casefile/spiders/cellar/cellar.htm) says the body length is about 1/4". That seems kind of small?

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Hm. Well, the graphic I posted is about how big it was. Now to find out what it actually was. LOL *continues search*

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Can you post a picture of it? With cellphone or something easy?

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

My husband has the cell phone at work, but I'll see what I can do. It resembles a huntsman spider, but the info I found says those are native to Australia. ???

I almost don't care what it is just so long as none of its cousins follow it. lol