I'm Bill Pardy!*

First, your daily dose of funny. This one's for all the other verypale people out there. ;-)

I make seedlings bend toward me on shady days. I wear SPF Terry Bathrobe and Socks. Goth kids ask me for tips on foundation. So do zombies. When I blush, cars stop on the road in confusion. . .

In other news, I injured myself yesterday. Shoving a blanket into the dryer, I scraped a chunk of skin off the back of my thumb. Chris sees me standing there staring at the wound all, "Yep, that's definitely bleeding, all right" and asks what I did:

Me: "Scraped it on the dryer."
Chris: "You should probably put a bandaid on that."
Me: "Yeah, I know. I can't believe I just hurt myself cleaning the house."
Chris: "I can."
Me: "Hush. This'll make a great story, huh? People will say, 'where'd you get that scar'? And I'll say, 'doing laundry'. And they'll say, 'bitch is hardcore'.**"

* Go watch Slither.
** No, really. Go.