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changeyourstars8So, given that the next movie's coming out, thought it might be a good time to finally do a post on the Twilight books.
I'll say up front that I've only read the first one. Stressed out at the time, hadn't had time to read in a while and most of the stuff I had on my to-read list was fairly dark, so I didn't even want to get into it. I got through Twilight in a couple of days, and it was a Fluffy Cotton Candy book-- exactly what I wanted at the time. It was fun; I liked it.
Then, instead of diving right into the next one, I saw that Cleolinda, she of the Awesome Recaps, had talked about them, and so I peeked ahead a little at her reviews.
And things went downhill insanely fast from there.
"Also, Edward is a douche. I mean, obviously he's breaking up with Bella for her own good and lying to her and blah blah emocakes. But now we have to listen to Bella angst for 3,293,487 pages. Don't you ever think about us, Edward? Our suffering?"
Me: *snerk* Oh no, wait . . . does the writer actually pull that insipid 'I'm doing this for your own good because I love youand by insinuation think you're too dumb to make your own decisions so I'll make them for you thing? I hate that crap. But on the other hand, teen romance novel, it's probably going to go for some of the Classic Cliches. Suppose I can deal.
Side note: you should read her whole review if only for the talk about Wuthering Heights because it is so. spot. on.
Anyway, I went on to part three, thinking that if that was the worst of it then I'd go through the books happily with just a bit of eye-rolling.
*sheds sole, dramatic tear at the memory of such innocence*
Because then we get to the stuff with Rosalie's backstory. And with imprinting on the two-year old. And as if those aren't bad enough, we're treated to this:
"His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn't even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.
I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.
Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight, didn't feel . . . just waited for him to stop."
And I sit there gaping and it is at this point that my liking for a fun little fluffy book turns into me being epically pissed off.
That charming scene doesn't stop there, either. She hits him for it, injuring her hand, and when her dad gets home and asks what happened Jacob basically brags about what he did and her dad congratulates him.
For kissing his daughter. When she didn't want it.
I am trying to picture how my father would react to such a scenario, and it is not like that. Though honestly, it'd be kinder to have Hypothetical Jackass deal with him than with my mom.
There is no excuse for this shit. I don't care if he's a teenager, he's old enough to know that if a girl tries to struggle away as you kiss her? If she hits you afterward? You did something wrong.
In my opinion, Meyer could've saved that scene. If Bella had hit him and yelled at him, and he had apologized profusely for freaking her out and then left, letting her know that if she ever wanted to come see him, fine, but he'd understand if she didn't and he wouldn't come to her anymore? I would've been okay with it. Because that would've been character growth-- someone doing something idiotic, learning from it, and trying to move on. This? This is just more of the tired "oh, isn't Bella being silly for protesting because OMG Jacob is so HOT and besides, she secretly liked it anyway!" Because of course that comes next, him hanging around until she realizes that she loves him back. I know that is exactly what happens in real life when a young woman is followed by a persistent guy who kisses her when she's giving "back off" signals!
Edward, at the age of 108, sure as hell doesn't have even the flimsy excuse of youthful stupidity to explain the stuff he pulls:
If a guy sneaks into your room repeatedly when you're sleeping, it's a sign of affection. And when he disables your car so you can't see someone he doesn't approve of, that's just hunky dory. Remember, folks, if he isolates you because he loves you, then it's okay!! *HORK*
Team Edward or Team Jacob? How about Team Someone Who Is Not A Stalky, Obsessive Creeper? Seriously, I just want to hand Bella a copy of The Gift of Fear.
And if I seem like I'm piling on this book too much, I don't mean to insinuate that it gives the worst example of a relationship ever and nothing before has ever been this bad!! Because oh, has it ever been this bad.
You have The Graduate-- doesn't matter if she's marrying someone else, she still loves you and you should go get her!
Gone with the Wind-- doesn't matter if she's fighting you, that just means she really wants you!
Countless romantic comedies-- persistence in the face of all obstacles, especially if said 'obstacle' is the woman saying "go away", means that he's really a sweet guy who just wants what's best for her and isn't it funny she can't see that? Don't worry, she will by the end of the movie.
And then there's the somewhat alternate versions of the classics. Wuthering Heights did not end happily for a reason. And yet high school and the time since is filled with talk about how romantic Heathcliff was. Phantom of the Opera falls into this category, too. When I was younger I heard/saw so much about how romantic the Phantom and Christine were; I thought the musical had to be about a girl who finds a wounded man hiding under the opera house where she works and she falls in love with him. And then I found out the real story.
So the problem of the patronizing, distant-- and oftentimes stalkery/violent-- man cast as a romantic hero, either by the original writer or by fans, is definitely not a problem that started with Twilight. It's just the most popular example right now.
I can't even get into the nuttiness of Breaking Dawn and the Birth Scene from Hell, and I don't really need to, because everything about why I will never finish this series and/or recommend it to anyone else has already come to pass by that point. Yes, there are issues in the fourth book that make things even worse (imprinting on an infant, come on, really?) and things that make my Inner Writer want to go off and drink a hell of a lot of tequila (what do you mean Bella becomes the Bestest Vampire Ever with a gorgeous baby who doesn't stay in the cry-all-night stage for long and now she's immortal and flawless and she didn't have to give up anything important for it?)
I wish it had gone a different direction, really. Because there's some stuff in the books that could've worked brilliantly in a horror novel. Edward as a vampire who longed for a normal life and who had tried again and again, in town after town, to find someone to be with? Bella as the latest in a long line of would-be soulmates who gets so caught up in his manipulation that she won't leave, even when her life depends on it, and so Edward ends up responsible for the death of someone he loves because he can't stop himself from thinking 'maybe this time. . .?' That would be an awesome Gothic Horror type novel. I would so pick up a copy. But this? Where you get a relationship that's blatantly compared to Heathcliff and Cathy and then the two leads live happily ever after? Doesn't make any more sense here than such an ending would have in Wuthering Heights.
So it really comes down to the thematic and the personal.
Thematically, I missed consequences. They don't happen in the Twilight universe. Edward treats Bella high-handedly, disables her car, etc. He gets dumped and realizes he needs to change his ways? Nah, she loves him and they end up together forever. Jacob assaults a girl he claims to care for. She never speaks to him again? Nah, she realizes she loves him, too. Bella wants to get turned into a creature that needs blood to survive and can't bear the light of day. She gets exactly that? Nah, she gets to run around the forest gracefully in a cocktail dress and heels hunting animals because of course vampires don't need human blood, silly, and she can go out in the daytime because it's cloudy where she lives and her new awesome family is rich so she can travel and have tons of fun!
And personally, I cannot stand assault and/or stalking-- dangerous and frightening things in real life-- treated as something acceptable or even romantic.
I'll say up front that I've only read the first one. Stressed out at the time, hadn't had time to read in a while and most of the stuff I had on my to-read list was fairly dark, so I didn't even want to get into it. I got through Twilight in a couple of days, and it was a Fluffy Cotton Candy book-- exactly what I wanted at the time. It was fun; I liked it.
Then, instead of diving right into the next one, I saw that Cleolinda, she of the Awesome Recaps, had talked about them, and so I peeked ahead a little at her reviews.
And things went downhill insanely fast from there.
"Also, Edward is a douche. I mean, obviously he's breaking up with Bella for her own good and lying to her and blah blah emocakes. But now we have to listen to Bella angst for 3,293,487 pages. Don't you ever think about us, Edward? Our suffering?"
Me: *snerk* Oh no, wait . . . does the writer actually pull that insipid 'I'm doing this for your own good because I love you
Side note: you should read her whole review if only for the talk about Wuthering Heights because it is so. spot. on.
Anyway, I went on to part three, thinking that if that was the worst of it then I'd go through the books happily with just a bit of eye-rolling.
*sheds sole, dramatic tear at the memory of such innocence*
Because then we get to the stuff with Rosalie's backstory. And with imprinting on the two-year old. And as if those aren't bad enough, we're treated to this:
"His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn't even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.
I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.
Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight, didn't feel . . . just waited for him to stop."
And I sit there gaping and it is at this point that my liking for a fun little fluffy book turns into me being epically pissed off.
That charming scene doesn't stop there, either. She hits him for it, injuring her hand, and when her dad gets home and asks what happened Jacob basically brags about what he did and her dad congratulates him.
For kissing his daughter. When she didn't want it.
I am trying to picture how my father would react to such a scenario, and it is not like that. Though honestly, it'd be kinder to have Hypothetical Jackass deal with him than with my mom.
There is no excuse for this shit. I don't care if he's a teenager, he's old enough to know that if a girl tries to struggle away as you kiss her? If she hits you afterward? You did something wrong.
In my opinion, Meyer could've saved that scene. If Bella had hit him and yelled at him, and he had apologized profusely for freaking her out and then left, letting her know that if she ever wanted to come see him, fine, but he'd understand if she didn't and he wouldn't come to her anymore? I would've been okay with it. Because that would've been character growth-- someone doing something idiotic, learning from it, and trying to move on. This? This is just more of the tired "oh, isn't Bella being silly for protesting because OMG Jacob is so HOT and besides, she secretly liked it anyway!" Because of course that comes next, him hanging around until she realizes that she loves him back. I know that is exactly what happens in real life when a young woman is followed by a persistent guy who kisses her when she's giving "back off" signals!
Edward, at the age of 108, sure as hell doesn't have even the flimsy excuse of youthful stupidity to explain the stuff he pulls:
If a guy sneaks into your room repeatedly when you're sleeping, it's a sign of affection. And when he disables your car so you can't see someone he doesn't approve of, that's just hunky dory. Remember, folks, if he isolates you because he loves you, then it's okay!! *HORK*
Team Edward or Team Jacob? How about Team Someone Who Is Not A Stalky, Obsessive Creeper? Seriously, I just want to hand Bella a copy of The Gift of Fear.
And if I seem like I'm piling on this book too much, I don't mean to insinuate that it gives the worst example of a relationship ever and nothing before has ever been this bad!! Because oh, has it ever been this bad.
You have The Graduate-- doesn't matter if she's marrying someone else, she still loves you and you should go get her!
Gone with the Wind-- doesn't matter if she's fighting you, that just means she really wants you!
Countless romantic comedies-- persistence in the face of all obstacles, especially if said 'obstacle' is the woman saying "go away", means that he's really a sweet guy who just wants what's best for her and isn't it funny she can't see that? Don't worry, she will by the end of the movie.
And then there's the somewhat alternate versions of the classics. Wuthering Heights did not end happily for a reason. And yet high school and the time since is filled with talk about how romantic Heathcliff was. Phantom of the Opera falls into this category, too. When I was younger I heard/saw so much about how romantic the Phantom and Christine were; I thought the musical had to be about a girl who finds a wounded man hiding under the opera house where she works and she falls in love with him. And then I found out the real story.
So the problem of the patronizing, distant-- and oftentimes stalkery/violent-- man cast as a romantic hero, either by the original writer or by fans, is definitely not a problem that started with Twilight. It's just the most popular example right now.
I can't even get into the nuttiness of Breaking Dawn and the Birth Scene from Hell, and I don't really need to, because everything about why I will never finish this series and/or recommend it to anyone else has already come to pass by that point. Yes, there are issues in the fourth book that make things even worse (imprinting on an infant, come on, really?) and things that make my Inner Writer want to go off and drink a hell of a lot of tequila (what do you mean Bella becomes the Bestest Vampire Ever with a gorgeous baby who doesn't stay in the cry-all-night stage for long and now she's immortal and flawless and she didn't have to give up anything important for it?)
I wish it had gone a different direction, really. Because there's some stuff in the books that could've worked brilliantly in a horror novel. Edward as a vampire who longed for a normal life and who had tried again and again, in town after town, to find someone to be with? Bella as the latest in a long line of would-be soulmates who gets so caught up in his manipulation that she won't leave, even when her life depends on it, and so Edward ends up responsible for the death of someone he loves because he can't stop himself from thinking 'maybe this time. . .?' That would be an awesome Gothic Horror type novel. I would so pick up a copy. But this? Where you get a relationship that's blatantly compared to Heathcliff and Cathy and then the two leads live happily ever after? Doesn't make any more sense here than such an ending would have in Wuthering Heights.
So it really comes down to the thematic and the personal.
Thematically, I missed consequences. They don't happen in the Twilight universe. Edward treats Bella high-handedly, disables her car, etc. He gets dumped and realizes he needs to change his ways? Nah, she loves him and they end up together forever. Jacob assaults a girl he claims to care for. She never speaks to him again? Nah, she realizes she loves him, too. Bella wants to get turned into a creature that needs blood to survive and can't bear the light of day. She gets exactly that? Nah, she gets to run around the forest gracefully in a cocktail dress and heels hunting animals because of course vampires don't need human blood, silly, and she can go out in the daytime because it's cloudy where she lives and her new awesome family is rich so she can travel and have tons of fun!
And personally, I cannot stand assault and/or stalking-- dangerous and frightening things in real life-- treated as something acceptable or even romantic.
