(no subject)

[changeyourstars8]

You know, I heard an interesting theory the other day, and I thought I'd discuss it here.

It was in an online discussion of feminism, and somebody brought up the idea that for all the talk about feminists being 'man-haters', they'd heard more man-hating comments from their "Feminist? Oh no, I'm not one of those" friends than from those who were.

I got to thinking about it and, you know, it actually makes sense?

Look at all the jokes in popular culture-- "Boys are stupid" shirts, men are too dumb to put the toilet seat where it's supposed to be, they're utterly incompetent in the kitchen and never do housework, all they do is sit on their butts and watch football all day, they're useless, etc. and etc.

On the nastier side of it, we have the all-men-are-rapists theory, which I will point out is *not* something I have ever heard a feminist (myself included) say. We believe that it doesn't matter what you were wearing or whether or not you were drinking, the responsibility for the man's behavior is on *him*, not you. And we believe that men have a choice. It's not some kind of 'well, you were wearing a short skirt, therefore you were asking for it because obviously as soon as he saw that flash of thigh, his civilized brain shut off and the Must Rape lights started flashing'. At heart, we do not hold a belief that men are nothing more than brain-dead animals who can eventually be trained by a woman into becoming something you can show off to friends and family.

This is not just something I've heard, by the way. I have personal experience. I was the drunk girl at the party once, I was the girl wearing a short skirt in a deserted area with a guy I barely knew. And you know what? I was not attacked by either the man I was with on the beach or the man who gave me a ride home that night. According to the Short Skirt and Bad Drunk Girl theory, that's what should've happened. But what do you know, I was with decent human beings both times; I didn't have the misfortune to be with some of the nastier ones.

If that had been the case, though, it would've been all my fault. Because I was responsible for their behavior, right??

Mmmm-hm. And somewhere far down below me, I can hear the sound of Satan's minions ice skating.

In other words, I can and will laugh off the label of man-hater (not that I didn't before, but . . . new theory to play with now. Yay)

((and, the general disclaimer-- I'm not saying that all women who don't want to use the term 'feminist' to describe themselves actually are man-haters, and I'm not saying that some people who call themselves feminists aren't incredibly hostile to all men. Just pointing out an amusing flaw in the general stereotype))

Comments

[rosevaughn.livejournal.com]

Thank you! At least I'm not the only one who feels the same. Lately, all I've seen are people complaining about how it's the woman's fault.

Bullshit.

We are not responsible for men's actions. Period.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. *s* And I hear you on all the people who persist in thinking that the woman's to blame for what happened: remember the Mike Tyson thing? People were ranting about "well, she was stupid enough to go to his hotel room, what did she expect?" Me: "People!! He's a *celebrity*! It's human nature to sometimes trust the wrong person, but add celebrity worship into that and what can you sometimes get? Bad, *bad* things. Yeah, she went up to his room. He did *not* have to do what he did."

Can you tell this is just a little bit of a hot button issue with me? lol

[rosevaughn.livejournal.com]

I think it's a hot button for many of us.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I really like you.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

*G* Thank you; feeling's mutual. :-)